You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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