Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
