before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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