I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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