So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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