Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
that's an acceptable place to lick
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
