i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
