drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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