God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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