Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Randomize
