Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I got inside last night via doggy door
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
