I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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