I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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