North Korea, Best Korea!
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
