A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
