Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
