Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
