You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
