You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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