So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
