I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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