Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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