apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
