I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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