we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
