i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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