You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
