We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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