I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
