When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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