I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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