And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
