If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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