The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
what day is it and did you see me today?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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