Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
