she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
