So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
