So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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