Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Randomize
