Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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