Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
