Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
