Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
