I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
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