Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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