k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
