saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
