I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
