This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
