What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
