If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My ass is underappreciated
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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